Reality check ....

Last night i was thinking about stuff and i suddenly realised that the way im going at college at the moment i am likly to finish my last year with absolutly nothing. Thats scarey. I really need to get my act together and work but thats easier said than done. My english teacher discovered that i was dyslexic last year and since someone has picked up on it, it seems to be more noticable to me and getting worse. I find it really difficult to get all of the stuff in my head out whether it be on paper or spoken. This is a symptom for dyslexics and its getting worse for me.

I know what i want to write in my essays but i cant physically get it out of my brain onto a piece of paper. I used to be able to manage fine but not anymore. Im frustrated because i know what i want to say only i cant say it! This is also why i am having trouble in my law lessons becasue there i so many facts i need to know and my brain just is not absorbing them at all? My law teacher has spoken to the woman in charge of learning difficulties and she is going to get me statemented so that i get extra time in exams and stuff. In one respect this is good but on the other hand i have managed all these years without it?!

I have two university interviews coming up soon and its all very exciting becasue i am going to have to travel by train all the way to Wales and make 4 changes which i have never done before. I think this could be one of thoses stressfull moments? i dont do well under pressure lol what if i miss a change? lol Anyway i have two weeks to worry about that. I have managed to find a ticket to Wales which will cost me £56.60 which in all honesty i cant afford because i have bills to pay and stuff so fingers crossed i still have enough to get there or else i will be " throwing away an opportunity" which is very true.

The ticket to Edgehill uni is only £41 so im not that worried about it becasue there is about a weeks difference and i will have enough saved up in my wages. The problem with my trip to Wales is that i had a week off of work and so im a week behind with my wages which means that i am going to get hardly anything this week becasue i was ill when i got back from outward bounds?!! So basically im screwed. I owe my dad two weeks rent as well.....

To change the subject quite dramatically im loosing weight which is great i can certainly notice a difference in myself but ill know more when other people notice too .. lol i cant wait it will be good to drop a dress size YAY!!!

OK im done with the ramblings above so keep in touch and i will see you soon ( even if that is only in cyber space!)

Amber xx

Hello? is there anybody there?

Im back !!! i was on that outward Bound course i was talking about befroe and it was absolutly 100% wicked!! well the day time was anyway the nights more or less sucked.
I survived a night in a log cabin with a bucket for a loo and a really big rain cloud. I went for a walk in the forest which was wickid! I did a 10 mile 5 and a half hour mountain hike and i was at the front the whole time I LOVED IT!!!

On wednesday i went rock climbing at the beech and i also did absailing 40ft up which was quite scarey. I am still scared of heights. I did an irish jig about 30ft up in the air so that i didnt have to climb to the top and catch a trapeze??? ( its a long story!) Then i went and built a raft to sail in the sea with nine other people on it! And after that i had to make a zip wire that went across this big stretch of deep merky water!

Thats basically what i did and i had so much fun. All my eczma went away and now that i have returned i have even more of it :( BUT IT ROCKED!!!

I went to see Hot fuzz the other day and i found it really scarey and my wonderful boyfriend pointed out on his blogg that it was fake and i was a bit of a whimp! lol I was expecting a comedy and it turned out to be really gorey. I have to say i spent most of my time with my hands on my head or hiding behind them!? at least i didnt scream out loud???

This is the first blogg since i returned and i will be back but right now i have to do an essay ready for tomorrow? LIKE THATS GONNA HAPPEN!???

OMG

Firstly i woke up this morning and there is about 7 inches of thick white snow outside which is very cool..... and very chilly. So i have walked to college to discover that my lesson was cancelled anyway? good huh? I have finished my english coursework and then i got an email.

The email was from UCAS telling me that somethings have changed on my application status so i went to check and it says that my apllications for Sheffield Hallam and Hull were unsuccessfull. HOW GUTTED AM I? two in one go is a bit mean they could have left a little bit of hope couldnt they?

Im going home in a minute coz im a little but pissed off and a little bit worryed now, what if all of my universities decide the same thing? IM SCREWED.

Im tired and i want to go home..... lol

I was just thinking about when i was little and me and my sister used to play games with each other. When mum was a student she used to have to buy lots of text books so me and Holly used to sit in the dinning room with a broken computer key board and mountains of mums books and pretend we were in a library or a book shop. We used to make mum come and pretend to buy books from us. Apparently we had a good use of imagination when we were little becasue we used to put the ironing bored up outside our bedroom door and pretend to sell things to whoever happend to be trying to go to the loo in piece. ( my bedroom door is opposite the toilet.)

Ha ha that reminds me of something else we used to do when mum was alive... lol this is rather weird but when the loo roll was finished we all used to right messages on the empty roll for each other. ( your probably thinking OMG FREAK!) OMG and Holly used to host an imaginary radio show called ' TOILET FANS' when she was on the loo LOL HA!

I was such a brat to her i bet she was glad to move away when she did. i cant help but think that i am fake. I was a spoilt brat and the only reason i dont get what i want anymore is becasue mum isnt alive? I dont know if that statement is true or not. I dont think the person i am and the person you know is fake? There are so many things i miss. i know this must get boring becasue it keeps coming up every once in a while. Im feeling sad.

THe Pursuit of Happyness..... My review...

Good morning wonderful people and how are you today????? I am absolutly faqbulous apart for the fact i have a head ache becasue the video kept jumping in english! Last night i went to see The Pursuit Of Happyness with L, its a very good film and the storyline is alright if not a tiny bit tooo long. Will Smiths son is sooooooo cute! Bless him. Yeah so it was good lol thats all i have to say!! OOOOH the ending was shockingly short and i think they should have showed their lives ten years on so we could see how they were managing and stuff. Maybe they should have brought the boys mum back into the storyline too????

Its Thursday. I have to go to work. Once i have been to the canteen to eat lunch. what am i going to eat? i think i liquid lunch sounds much better? only joking! ..... i have to sort out my money issues with my boss. Bummer. OH well shit happens.

See you all very soon..... i might sneak up on when your not looking and give you a very big hug? who knows??!