Like a falling star,
waiting to be caught,
spinning threads across the sky,
But its dark outside.
What happens when the fires die?
Where is my safty net?
A web of lies and deciet,
Who can you trust?
Its burning inside,
smouldering in suffocation.
Gasping for air,
But there is none.
A candle wick is burning.
Flames licking the sky,
your fingers sizzle.
Burnt out.
Its dark outside.
Ebony skies cloud.
i've fallen.
Ive gone.
A x
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
I think i need help.
I thought i had turned a corner with life but apparently things arn't as rosey as they seem. This seems like a bit of a random place to write how i feel down but i need advice from people and i cant just speak it outloud so here we go.
There was a time awhile ago when i was permenently in a state of sadness as one would expect after the death of a parent. Earlier on this year i always seemed to be miserable but that disappeared, hense turning a corner? As we approach Christmas i'm falling under a trance that i cant escape from. I try so hard to get up in the morning to go to college but theres something stopping me and i dont know what it is. I have missed so many lessons of psychology and i have a module to take in january and i have missed about four chapters of work. My teacher probably thinks im not interested and i dont want to be there but i really do. I am not the kind of person to be happy sat at home doing nothing, i have to be active. I have a structured routine but i cant make myself go to college. I physically can't make myself get out of the door in the morning. Mentally i feel like a failure becasue i dont go somethimes. Im supposed to attend 5 lesson of college and at the moment the average lessons attended is 3 on a good week. Whats happening to me?.
Last night i tried to talk to my dad about it and he shouted at me for being lazy and wasting my life. He didnt listen to the fact that this isnt me. I think i need to go and see a counciling person or go to the doctor or something. I dont know whats wrong with me but im letting myself down. I know the only person im harming is me. So whay cant i just get on with it? im not struggling with any of the subjects im taking spacifically. I enjoy the majority of them. I feel as though there is something wrong with me.
I need some advice please.
There was a time awhile ago when i was permenently in a state of sadness as one would expect after the death of a parent. Earlier on this year i always seemed to be miserable but that disappeared, hense turning a corner? As we approach Christmas i'm falling under a trance that i cant escape from. I try so hard to get up in the morning to go to college but theres something stopping me and i dont know what it is. I have missed so many lessons of psychology and i have a module to take in january and i have missed about four chapters of work. My teacher probably thinks im not interested and i dont want to be there but i really do. I am not the kind of person to be happy sat at home doing nothing, i have to be active. I have a structured routine but i cant make myself go to college. I physically can't make myself get out of the door in the morning. Mentally i feel like a failure becasue i dont go somethimes. Im supposed to attend 5 lesson of college and at the moment the average lessons attended is 3 on a good week. Whats happening to me?.
Last night i tried to talk to my dad about it and he shouted at me for being lazy and wasting my life. He didnt listen to the fact that this isnt me. I think i need to go and see a counciling person or go to the doctor or something. I dont know whats wrong with me but im letting myself down. I know the only person im harming is me. So whay cant i just get on with it? im not struggling with any of the subjects im taking spacifically. I enjoy the majority of them. I feel as though there is something wrong with me.
I need some advice please.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)