I thought i had turned a corner with life but apparently things arn't as rosey as they seem. This seems like a bit of a random place to write how i feel down but i need advice from people and i cant just speak it outloud so here we go.
There was a time awhile ago when i was permenently in a state of sadness as one would expect after the death of a parent. Earlier on this year i always seemed to be miserable but that disappeared, hense turning a corner? As we approach Christmas i'm falling under a trance that i cant escape from. I try so hard to get up in the morning to go to college but theres something stopping me and i dont know what it is. I have missed so many lessons of psychology and i have a module to take in january and i have missed about four chapters of work. My teacher probably thinks im not interested and i dont want to be there but i really do. I am not the kind of person to be happy sat at home doing nothing, i have to be active. I have a structured routine but i cant make myself go to college. I physically can't make myself get out of the door in the morning. Mentally i feel like a failure becasue i dont go somethimes. Im supposed to attend 5 lesson of college and at the moment the average lessons attended is 3 on a good week. Whats happening to me?.
Last night i tried to talk to my dad about it and he shouted at me for being lazy and wasting my life. He didnt listen to the fact that this isnt me. I think i need to go and see a counciling person or go to the doctor or something. I dont know whats wrong with me but im letting myself down. I know the only person im harming is me. So whay cant i just get on with it? im not struggling with any of the subjects im taking spacifically. I enjoy the majority of them. I feel as though there is something wrong with me.
I need some advice please.
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2 comments:
Aww hunny bunny. You know what Dad's like! And he is probably miserable about it all as well. I think that you would benefit from a counsellor, you just need to talk to someone that can make you see that life isn't that bad most of the times and things are worth getting up for. I'd do some research on where you could get counselling. Further more, the right counseller is important too. Good luck and why didn't you talk to me about this? I'm here for you! Hol xxx
and me!
I can always cheer you up! :))
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