I was just commenting on my sisters blogg and i just feel like i should write some stuff down. Sometimes i like the fact that i have a long distance relationship with my sister because we seem to get on a lot better, but i often find that its lonley being just me. When i get home from collage there is noone to say ' hi' or yell at me for disrupting the peace and quiet. I miss Holly not being in her room playing loud heavy rock music with her head firmly placed infront of the computer.
When we were younger we never used to get any pocket money really but mum used to give us something when she could, even if it was £1 between the two of us. We used to get dropped off in town and spend hours wondering around the shops together. It was fun.
I was standing in tesco this morning and i walked down the christmas isle and i remember how excited i used to feel about christmas. I used to go on and on to mum about what i wanted for christmas and it used to be lovely to chat about it with her because she would get this sparkle in her eye because she loved it just as much as me. I have to say now that things have changed i really dont enjoy the thought of christmas at all because its just alot of extra time to feel lonley and think about what i no longer have. I know that is a pesemistic way to think of it but i really cant help it.
Isnt it funny how little things can trigger off memories that feel so raw and vivid. I was walking past Mcdonalds this morning and it made me think about mum and Holly and we would sometimes go in together and sit and chat. :( i miss it so much. ( i cant begin to put into words just how much becasue no matter what i say it wont emphasise this huge void)
Music speaks a thousand words but i can't find the right words to use. I feel a bit blank.
I need a hug please ?
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3 comments:
*Hug hug hug* for you. I know how you feel. I was just talking to James yesterday about how I feel guilty for moving to Sheffield because I have got a fresh start without the memories and you are just part of a two person house hold. I just don't feel that happy in Stroud. I know what you mean about christmas too, I don't really look forward to it :| but I am still coming down this year so hopefully I will make it fun and better for you :D I can't wait! LOL I know about the £1 shopping, we were cooking on gas lol, now I struggle if I have a fiver!!! Love you lil sis dont forget that xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh and I like your new blog look! It's sexual. You should read my new entry too.
Love and hugs xxxx
quote: "its sexual!" LOL! tahts funny! anyway alp, just remeber tah twe are all here and we will all make you smile! hugs forever!
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